Jeremiah 29:11

So I've apparently entered a new level.... you know how when you were growing up you would graduate from your current grade level and it would feel like such an accomplishment and you took time to celebrate? Then you start the next year and things are hard all over again... well apparently that's how life works. Except currently I have just started a new grade level.
When I went to Auburn I had a big period of down time where I had no one to turn to but God. I grew so much during the time and learned so much. I was so thankful for that period and the struggles because it got me to the next phase in life which is when I met Beth and Claire... my comfort.
Somewhere between then and now my relationship with God drifted... maybe because I had comfort, I was stable, life wasn't extremely challenging like it once was, I was content.
Then I lost that comfort... I moved from Auburn, we all moved away from Auburn. But I found new comfort, a temporary comfort, that was hard to let go of.
I feel that God has used my current situations to bring me back to Him, to teach me that He is all that I need.
I had a really good talk with one of my best friends the other day. She told me a story about a prayer she recently prayed and through that prayer God showed her that it's all about His timing. He even answered a prayer she had during our phone conversation which was proof enough that He is in control of our lives. This friend gave me the insight I so desperately needed. This pain and struggle I have been going through are far deeper than I had thought. This one thing has triggered a few issues that have been there but that weren't being dealt with.
My moms passing... 4 years later and I still sob at all I'm missing from not having a mom. I know that sounds so selfish because I know she's in a better place. But what I would give to just have a hug from my mom again, that comfort back that only a mother can provide.
Auburn, I have had that place on a pedestal for a while now. How could I not? That place brought me more happiness in 3 years then any other earthly thing has ever provided... but that happiness and those blessings all came from God. If I continue to keep Auburn on that pedestal and compare everything to it I will never be able to live in the here and now and be happy. I need to find happiness from where I am now in life and make the best out of this situation. Yes, I swore I'd never come back to Georgia and I threaten to leave all the time. But I am here for now and there is a reason for that so I need to trust God and be content with it.
I have a lot to work through, but I will get there. Life is about growing and changing and learning. This is just part of that process. Sometimes life is more challenging than others and this is just one of those times. But through prayer and my relationship I'm building back with God I will get through this.


"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

- Jeremiah 29:11