The Healing Process

So it's only been 4 months since I last posted... I'm making improvements! Lol But if you know me and my crazy life you know that a lot has happened in that short amount of time. Even though a lot has changed I'm ready for even bigger changes.
I am about to finish up my regular classes in the next month. Then I will finally be moving on with TOSS (pre-student teaching) and student teaching. I still have another year left, we're now looking at 5/2013 for graduation. Slow and steady wins the race! I'm so over college at this point, ready to move on to bigger and better things! I feel trapped and life I've outgrown college. Nothing is the same in Kennesaw anymore, I'm just over it. All my friends are getting married or getting jobs, life is even more different than it was 4 months ago. I'm hoping to move to Atlantic Station at the end of July. I think it'll be a good change for me and help me to move on with life. If I do make this move I will be living with my amazing cousin Tiffany. It'll be so nice to live with just a single girl again! Lol I'm just done with Kennesaw and I don't think I can make it there another year. Don't get me wrong though, I am thankful for that time in my life as much as I hated it at times. But I'm just ready to move on!!
In the past 4 months I have been through 2 break ups. One was a long time coming and I was so over in the end it wasn't very challenging. The other however was a little bit more of a surprise. Now I am not usually the girl to go from one relationship to the next. But in this situation I was certain God has brought this person to me and on His perfect timing. He used this person to show me how I was suppose to be treated and respected. I gained a whole new perspective of how a relationship works. It was challenging for me considering I had never dated a good and respectful guy before so I didn't even know how to handle it. But that is when I was able to see just how broken I was and how much healing I really needed. I have no doubt God brought him into my life and also took him out. I learned and still learning so much from that relationship that will be so helpful in the future. I now see how important it is for me to "get better" for myself so that someday i will be able to find a Godly man and be the best I can be to him. My heart for now is on the mends, it will take sometime to get over this. He was a wonderful guy and he treated me so well, I just wasn't emotionally in a place to be able to be in a relationship and it took this relationship for me to realize that.
I'm at a very interesting time in life right now. It's taken me a good 5 and a half years, 4 broken hearts, and 3 bad relationships to get to this point. I am finally working through a lot of stored up grief that I never dealt with when my mom passed away. Little did I know that would spill over into my relationships and other aspects of life. I am learning so much about myself, my life, my emotions, my family.... It's a big overwhelming. But this is a very important time in my life. I am recovering and healing from years of hurt and struggle. I'm taking a time out for me to get better and become the person God has meant for me to be. I have no doubt that God brought me to this point. I am learning how to let go of the control and allow God to control my life. It's not an easy process because of course I sometimes think that I might know best. But I'm learning how to let go of the life I might think I want in order to live the life God intended for me to life. I know in the end it'll be so worth it because God only wants the best for me. This process certainly hasn't been easy but it's only been a month and I can already see how much my life has changed. God is definitely at work and up to something great! Life is all about changes, you're constantly letting go and moving on. I am thankful to be going through this time at 24 and when I'm single. I think this will make a world of difference for my future. In the meantime I will be continuing on this journey putting my hope and trust in God and allowing Him to work in my life.